In this week’s Gospel passage at Mass, Jesus tells us what to do when we have a problem with someone.

Now, this passage (from Matthew 18:15-20) is often used by Catholics to show that Jesus intended to create an institutional Church, and I don’t disagree with that. (I AM Catholic precisely because I understand this point).

However, that’s not what I want to focus on.

Jesus tells us what to do when our brother sins against us. He gives a series of escalations, but the first thing He commands is, “Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

Did you get that? I know I often find it hard to keep this in mind:

“Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

NOT: “Go gossip about it.”

NOT: “Go complain to your best friend.”

NOT: “Let it eat at you and sour your mood for the rest of the day.”

NOT: “Take it out on someone else.”

“Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

Basically, it’s no one else’s business. No one else needs to hear about it, unless there is an honest and pressing reason that someone in particular does need to know. We should not go complaining to others.

The only legitimate alternative to confronting the offender that Jesus leaves open appears to be this: simply to forgive your brother, let it slide, don’t think more about it, and say nothing, if that happens to be more prudent or the slight is minor.

But that is where we are to start: either we say nothing to anyone or we bring it to the offending party for redress.

Gossip is not an option.

One of the psalms prays, “Set, O Lord, a guard over my mouth; keep watch at the gate of my lips.”

In the Letter to the Ephesians, Paul tells us, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.”

Jesus warns that we will judged for every careless word we utter. May He have mercy on us all.