I’m running a Bargain Booksy campaign today for The Crimson League: The Fight for Hope.

I had to craft a new blurb for the promo. (They require that for reasons of SEO/Stock Engine Optimization). I love my new blurb. I also love the one from my publisher. I thought it could be a useful exercise to compare them . . . after all, they both (I hope) promote my novel well, but they’re very different.

Here is the blurb that I came up with:

Join the Crimson League, the resistance movement fighting to save the kingdom of Herezoth from the grip of sorcerer Zalski Forzythe in this action-packed YA sword and sorcery adventure. When life is on the line, and hope is all but dead after a series of heart-breaking setbacks, can the League hold together and prevail?

Here is one of my publisher’s blurbs. See if you can spot the major difference, apart from length:

Not a soul in Herezoth is safe while evil sorcerer, Zalski Forzythe, reigns supreme.

There was a time when the magicked and commoners lived in peace. The Hall of Sorcery hidden high in the mountains was a place of reverence . . .

Until the vicious sorcerer Hansrelto came to call. His attempted overthrow may have failed, but a terrorizing rampage through the nearby villages did enough damage to mar the reputation of the peaceful magicked ones for generations to come.

Nearly a millennium passed . . .

Inspired by Hansrelto’s efforts, wicked sorcerer Zalski Forzythe successfully executes a coup and slaughters the royal family, taking over the nation of Herezoth.

The people are burdened with two-thirds taxes, violent terror, and forced allegiance. The crushing boot on the neck seems relentless.

But there is hope . . .

A team of rebels known as the Crimson League leads the charge toward freedom.

And legend has it, the Marked One will rise up to end the dystopian nightmare.

Through sword and sorcery, the forces of good and evil match off in The Herezoth Trilogy’s first installment, The Crimson League: The Fight for Hope!

The second blurb is longer, for sure. But THE SCOPE IS DIFFERENT. Its focus is much wider.

The blurb that I wrote–I specifically gave it a different focus than the publisher’s, so that people who see the first blurb from Bargain Booksy will then see the second when the click over to Amazon–gives no details at all that place Zalski Forzythe’s reign in historical context.

It doesn’t mention the historical animosity between those who have magic and those who don’t.

It doesn’t mention details of how Zalski rules the kingdom, either. You get the images of a resistance group, a desperate struggle for survival, waning hope . . . the idea is that it creates more questions than it gives answers in order to pique interest.

It emphasizes TONE, THEME, and GENRE over CHARACTER or CONTEXT. (In fact, both blurbs emphasize the idea of the League as a unit, turning the League itself into a kind of protagonist.)

My publisher’s blurb was written for the book website. It gives more specific details in many senses.

The scope is wider in that it gives both historical context and some details about Zalski’s oppressive regime that my blurb lacks.

It’s interesting that neither of these blurbs mention the book’s protagonist, Kora. (The third one does, on Amazon).

Both blurbs above work, but in different ways. In short:

• Focus on tone, theme, and a narrow scope to raise fun questions in the mind of a prospective reader
• Focus on context to immerse a prospective reader in the world of your story, make them feel at home, and draw them in.

What are your thoughts? What do you focus on in writing a blurb? Thy’re notoriously difficult, I know!

(Please note: as I’m running a Bargain Booksy campaign today, if you’ve been waiting to snap your Kindle edition of The Crimson League: The Fight for Hope, please consider buying today (7/31). Your ebook purchase combined with those from the promo could really help me climb the charts!