It hit me the other day, a few days after my launch of The Crimson League: The Fight for Hope, that I pretty much have the life I left my doctoral program for.

That was a full decade ago in 2013. I was disenchanted and burned out. God gave me enough wisdom to see that although I had the skill set to succeed as a professor, the environment of academia was toxic in general and for my temperament in particular.

I wanted to focus on my fiction, you see. I wanted to be an author–I’d wanted that since childhood and had just released the first editions of my Herezoth trilogy.

I wanted a day job that I could leave at work to allow me time (and mental space) to work on my fiction.

Now I’m pretty much there. It took time, but I’m THERE. And the major thing can think upon processing this is gratitude. This life doesn’t look or feel like what I thought it would, but that’s always life.

We’re never going to find full joy here. “You have made us for yourself, O God, and our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.”

Nonetheless, things are pretty good.

I have a day job that gives me what I need.

• It pays the bills
• I work from home. No commute means more time to write.
• I don’t have to think about or plan for work off the clock.
• I get lots of PTO, and the rate at which I get PTO will only increase as I stay longer with the company

That gave me time to work with the trilogy I took down years ago to revamp for second editions worthy of the story.

Now that first installment is back out.

I’m surprised it took me so long to recognize that I’ve been working toward, and God has been gracious in giving me, what I wanted when I left grad school.

I think, partly, that’s because my priorities have shifted.

You see, I have always been a practicing Catholic, but I had what I call my conversion experience in 2014. It took my focus off me and my desires and my idolization of my fiction.

God made it VERY clear that he wanted me teaching Spanish at a local Catholic high school 2014-2015, so I did that. (That’s an incredible story I might save for a Sunday reflection). Then I discerned religious life.

I went to the holy land and spent nine months as a postulant in religious life. I realized it wasn’t for me.

I was focused after that just on rebuilding a life in the middle of Covid lockdowns, keeping my eyes on Jesus and trying to trust His promise that He will always provide what I truly need.

And man, has He done that!

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.

It’s been an uphill climb, of course, and it’s going to remain that. It’s not easy to find success as an independent author. It will likely take a long time to earn enough in royalties to cover the cost of production of book two.

I know the next step is to focus on getting more reviews for book one. I need to get review copies into the hands of book bloggers. That’s the next goal.

But in a real way, I have, right now, the life I wanted. My life most importantly, is headed in the right direction, focused upon the only audience that really matters: God. Jesus. As long as I keep up the spiritual life I have developed, I know that will keep my priorities in order and I will be just fine.

Check out my new release’s website at www.crimsonleaguebooks.com