Someone on Facebook recently told me she had enjoyed the first edition of The Crimson League (squee!) and asked what changes to expect in the upcoming second edition. (I took my entire trilogy out of circulation years ago to fix things up and make a more professional go of it.)
The first major thing anyone would notice is the addition of a subtitle. It’s now The Crimson League: The Fight for Hope. While the subtitle my publisher suggested is amazing and truly fits the story (a post on that here), it obviously has no impact on the novel itself.
As far as content goes, the biggest and most glaring change is that I cut the character of Hal Halt completely.
Yes, Hal is no longer with us. It was stunning to see how cutting him affected the flow and plot of the story not at all-a sure sign it was the right move.
HAL JUST WASN’T NECESSARY
Cutting Hal was my decision, 100%. I did it before ever contracting an editor, in the early stages of my revisions to the first edition text.
I realized that Hal contributed nothing of substance, mainly because he was a third wheel to the adolescent cousin duo of Bidd and Hayden.
His personality was very much like Bidd’s. He said and did nothing that Bidd couldn’t do. Every scene Hal was in, Bidd was generally already present, so editing Hal out wasn’t difficult at all.
The only other option was to INCREASE Hal’s importance and influence, giving him a purpose and significance he didn’t have in the first edition. I opted against that because:
- CUTTING word count in revisions is generally preferable to ADDING. This was especially true in my case, as the fantasy genre tends to produce longer novels as it is. (World building, world building!) My book was already way too long. I didn’t want to bloat it further by increasing Hal’s role.
- I always considered the way Hal was introduced to be one the weakest parts of the novel. I didn’t like it. It felt too coincidental. I couldn’t think of a way to make it feel more genuine.
- There were already plenty of people in the Crimson League. Getting rid of one would help make things easier for the reader to keep track of.
So, there you go. That’s the explanation of why Hal is gone. It was sad in its way to erase him, but it was the right decision editorially.
Tomorrow (without spoilers) I’ll explain the other changes you’ll see in the first edition. None affect the plot much. They generally help the story flow better and make it an easier read.
Mark your calendars for The June 15 re-release of The Crimson League: The Fight for Hope! Read an excerpt here about Kora’s first raid, meet the members of the League, and follow my Facebook page for further updates.
Creative Writing with the Crimson League 
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